Friday, April 17, 2009

Just like a scene from "St. Elmo's Fire".......

Many often comment about how open I am about my struggle with infertility, my three miscarriages, and adoption.

Some embrace it.

Some don't.

Some wonder why I am like this---"what's the point" they ask.

Some roll their eyes when I say I am "An Infertile Blonde"---but I am one.

Well, the point is that 7.3 million people a year struggle with infertility.....as for miscarriages and adoption, I believe it is all under the same umbrella---and I think as a society we need to talk about it.

I am not a girl who believes that if you don't talk about it, it doesn't exist. That's not how I work.

These unpleasant journeys in our lives are real and they are painful. I speak from experience.

But they can also be life changing in ways you never thought possible.

I believe that you should talk openly about these things because you just never know who you might meet. You never know who's been through the same thing or someone who can offer you a piece of valued advice.

But I remember feeling as if I "shouldn't" talk about it.

I remember feeling embarrassed and almost ashamed that my body wasn't cooperating the way it was supposed to.

Now I look back and think really? How did I let myself feel that way? Shame on me.

I probably could have really used some open and honest conversation about what was going on in my life.

What wasn't helpful was feeling like I was living a scene from St. Elmo's Fire.....remember the mother who whispered certain words she didn't want to say out loud? "Cancer" "Drugs" "Prison"?----I am sure "infertility" "miscarriage" and "adoption" would have been on her list too.

Yes, now I can laugh about it. But trust me my friends, this is no laughing matter.

So I decided that I was going to talk about this stuff. I was going to be brave and bring it out into the open. Because of the number of people that infertility affects, we should be talking about this stuff openly and honestly.

Every day I hope that one way or another--- I do my part to make someone's journey through infertility, miscarriage or adoption just a little easier.

After all, doesn't everyone need a shoulder to lean on now and again?

Love much,
xob

1 comment:

Kris & Dustin Luhman said...

I applaud your efforts and I am able to relate to so much of what you say having experienced it all myself. We are on adoption #1 and our roller coaster of reproductive emotions continue through the process. I sometime feel like the butt of a big joke but then remember how grateful I am for what I do have and everything works out in the end - maybe just not the way we originally planned :)